Tuesday, October 11, 2011

INTERESTING FACTS: GENDER PSYCHOLOGY.

1. Men change their minds two to three times more often than women. Most women take longer to make a decision than men do, but once they make a decision they are more likely to stick to it.
2. Based on the total number of people tested since IQ tests were devised, women have a slightly higher average IQ than men
3. Women are better than men at remembering faces, especially of females
4. Men are more likely to help than women!
5. Women are more pessimistic when predicting their work results.
6. Most women tend to believe that they are only good at certain tasks, but not capable of being good at everything.
7. Women are more fearful and anxious than men.
8. Women are twice more talkative than men! It has been estimated that on average, men speak 12,500 words and women speak about 25,500 words in a day.
9. The female brain is much more adept at reading subtle facial and verbal emotional expressions.  Some woman say that only when men see actual tears they realize that something is wrong. This is why women have to cry four times more than men do, to signal distress.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Space junk reaching 'tipping point,' report warns

Reuters) - The amount of debris orbiting the Earth has reached "a tipping point" for collisions, which would in turn generate more of the debris that threatens astronauts and satellites, according to a U.S. study released on Thursday.
NASA needs a new strategic plan for mitigating the hazards posed by spent rocket bodies, discarded satellites and thousands of other pieces of junk flying around the planet at speeds of 17,500 miles (28,164 kilometres) per hour, the National Research Council said in the study.
The council is one of the private, nonprofit U.S. national academies that provide expert advice on scientific problems.
Orbital debris poses a threat to the approximately 1,000 operational commercial, military and civilian satellites orbiting the Earth -- part of a global industry that generated $168 billion in revenues last year, Satellite Industry Association figures show.
The world's first space smashup occurred in 2009 when a working Iridium communications satellite and a non-operational Russian satellite collided 490 miles (789 km) over Siberia, generating thousands of new pieces of orbital debris.
The crash followed China's destruction in 2007 of one of its defunct weather satellites as part of a widely condemned anti-satellite missile test.
The amount of orbital debris tracked by the U.S. Space Surveillance Network jumped from 9,949 catalogued objects in December 2006 to 16,094 in July 2011, with nearly 20 percent of the objects stemming from the destruction of the Chinese FENGYUN 1-C satellite, the National Research Council said.
The surveillance network tracks objects approximately 10 centimetres in diameter and larger.
Some computer models show the amount of orbital debris "has reached a tipping point, with enough currently in orbit to continually collide and create even more debris, raising the risk of spacecraft failures," the research council said in a statement released Thursday as part its 182-page report.
"The current space environment is growing increasingly hazardous to spacecraft and astronauts," Donald Kessler, the former head of NASA's Orbital Debris Program Office who chaired the study team, said in a statement.
In addition to more than 30 findings, the panel made two dozen recommendations for NASA to mitigate and improve the orbital debris environment, including collaborating with the State Department to develop the legal and regulatory framework for removing junk from space.
Current international legal principles, for example, ban nations from salvaging or otherwise collecting other nations' space objects.
"The problem of space debris is similar to a host of other environmental problems and public concerns characterized by possibly significant differences between the short- and long-run damage accruing to society," the report said.
It cited "damage related to atmospheric concentrations of greenhouse gases, storage of nuclear waste and long-lived pharmaceutical residue in underground aquifers. Each has small short-run effects but, if left unaddressed, will have much larger impacts on society in the future," it said.
The study, "Limiting Future Collision Risk to Spacecraft: An Assessment of NASA's Meteoroid and Orbital Debris Programs," was sponsored by NASA. (Editing by Jane Sutton and Todd Eastham)

WAY OF LIFE...


Volume 8, Book 73, Number 26:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra' bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Apostle cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully."
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 100:
Narrated Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari:
Allah's Apostle said, "It is not lawful for a man to desert his brother Muslim for more than three nights. (It is unlawful for them that) when they meet, one of them turns his face away from the other, and the other turns his face from the former, and the better of the two will be the one who greets the other first."
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 92:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales. and do not look for the others' faults, and do not do spying on one another, and do not practice Najsh, and do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, and do not desert (stop talking to) one another. And O, Allah's worshipers! Be brothers!"
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 91:
Narrated Anas bin Malik:
Allah's Apostle said, "Do not hate one another, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert each other, and O, Allah's worshipers! Be brothers. Lo! It is not permissible for any Muslim to desert (not talk to) his brother (Muslim) for more than three days."
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 84:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "The worst people in the Sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be the double faced people who appear to some people with one face and to other people with another face."
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 64:
Narrated Anas:
I served the Prophet for ten years, and he never said to me, "Uf" (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?" Volume 8, Book 73, Number 63:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "Time will pass rapidly, good deeds will decrease, and miserliness will be thrown (in the hearts of the people), and the Harj (will increase)." They asked, "What is the Harj?" He replied, "(It is) killing (murdering), (it is) murdering (killing).

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 47:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet. (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk).

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 46:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet used to say, "O Muslim ladies! A neighbouress should not look down upon the present of her neighbouress even it were the hooves of a sheep."
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 4:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr:
Allah's Apostle said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Apostle! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother."
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 6:
Narrated Al-Mughira:
The Prophet said, "Allah has forbidden you ( 1 ) to be undutiful to your mothers (2) to withhold (what you should give) or (3) demand (what you do not deserve), and (4) to bury your daughters alive. And Allah has disliked that (A) you talk too much about others ( B), ask too many questions (in religion), or (C) waste your property."

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

7 hacks to remember any names

Our name is one of those hard wired words in our subconscious (like “Free” and “Sex”), which has the intrinsic trigger to get our attention. You are more likely to react and respond to the sound of your name than say the word “apple”.
The ability to remember people’s names is an incredibly useful skill, in business and social interactions. Do you remember how impressed or surprised you were the last time someone remembered your name? I still get impressed, and I tend to remember these people in an especially warm and friendly light.
I have a distinct, short and easy to remember name (“Tina Su”). I often fall victim to the embarrassment of not remembering names of people who approach me with “Hi Tina, how are you?” My mind would go into panic, thinking “Oh crap! What’s her name again?”
I have developed the following techniques to help myself remember names. I’ve used each one extensively and they have proven to be effective in my experience. I want to share these with you, and hope that you will find them as valuable as I have.

1. Trust Yourself

Many of us ‘believe’ that we are “horrible at names” and we are very ‘proud’ of this fact by telling other people about it. By relying on this story we’ve created, we instantly forget people’s names the moment we hear it, without even trying, because we are “horrible at names”. I have been guilty of this. So, STOP telling people that you are “Bad at names”. You are not bad at names, you just have not implemented a system that worked for you yet. Tell yourself, “I am fantastic at remembering names! And I’m gonna practicing start now.”

2. Seeing Faces

If you know another person with the same name, try the following:
  1. See that person’s face in your imagination.
  2. Now, see the person’s face bounce up-and-down (perhaps smiling at you).
  3. Now, see the new person’s face, bouncing up-and-down beside the first face.
  4. Repeat steps A to C several times

3. Using Sound Tricks

If you do not know another person with this same, try the following mnemonics using sound:
  1. Repeat their names several times in your head, while noting the following:
    1. Exaggerate the sounds. Prolong the syllables. Ie. “Teeeeeeeee-Naaaaa!” The funnier, the funkier and disturbing, the better for remembering.
    2. Chunking‘ – Break the name into several distinguishable parts/words.
  2. Associate parts of name with words you’re already familiar with and can easily pronounce. Ie. “Ramesh” = Mesh, Mash
  3. Create a story – Especially great for foreign, long or unusual names. I sometimes find it helpful to create a little story containing familiar words from step b to serve as memorable cues. Make the story highly visual, especially great if the story sounds silly and makes you laugh.
    Example, “Bengodi” -> Ben Afflect is going to become a deejay.”

4. Hear the Sounds Repeated

Look into their eyes while being introduced and repeat their name several times out aloud.
I like asking the following questions after being introduced. The reason I ask is to give me additional time and opportunity to practice their names on the spot:
  • “Did I pronounce it correctly?”
  • “How do you pronounce that?”
  • “Could you repeat it?”
I would repeat it several times after they answer the question, and check with them that I’ve got the correct pronunciation. Again, this technique gives me an excuse to practice their names, also ensures that I’m pronouncing it right. People typically do not mind to help you learn their names

Saturday, July 30, 2011

MAKES ME THINK...

SHORT INSPIRING THOUGHT PROVOKING LIFE STORIES.THANKS TO MMT...
I selected few short stories submitted on MMT…it made me think as well as smile…some inspired me a lot. I hope they do the same for you.  It may leave you smiling, thinking and crying. A famous online community, everyday users share their thought provoking life stories and vote on stories that other users have shared. Some are happy, sad and others make you think and twist your emotions. Stated on MMT about page, sometimes the most random everyday encounters force us to stop and rethink the truths and perceptions we have ingrained in our minds. These encounters are educationally priceless. They spawn moments of deep thoughts and self-reflection that challenge the status and help us evolve as sensible individuals.
1)      Today, when I opened my store at 5AM there was an envelope sitting on the floor by the door.  In the envelope was $600 and a note that said, “Five years ago, I broke into your store at night and stole $300 worth of food.  I’m sorry.  I was desperate.  Here’s the money with 100% interest.”  Interestingly, I never reported the incident to the cops because I assumed that whoever stole the food really needed it.  MMT
2)      Today, at 8AM this morning, after four months of lifelessness in her hospital bed, we took my mom off life support.  And her heart continued beating on its own.  And she continued breathing on her own.  Then this evening, when I squeezed her hand three times, she squeezed back three times.  MMT
3)      Today, as I was sleeping, I woke up to my daughter calling my name.  I was sleeping in a sofa chair in her hospital room.  I opened my eyes to her beautiful smile.  My daughter has been in a coma for 98 days.  MMT
4)      Today, my 12-year-old son, Sean, and I stopped by the nursing home together for the first time in several months.  Usually I come alone see my mother who’s suffering from Alzheimer’s.  When we walked into the lobby, the nurse said, “Hi, Sean!” and then buzzed us in.  “How does she know your name?” I asked.  “Oh, I swing by here on my walk home from school all the time to say hi to Grandma,” Sean said.  I had no idea.  MMT
5)      Today is the 14th day in a row that my nursing home patient’s grandson has come to visit her.  Two weeks ago I told him that the only time I see his grandmother smile all week is when he visits her on Sunday mornings.  MMT
6)      Today, when I tapped the side of my wheelchair and told my husband, “You’re the only reason I want to be free from this contraption,” he kissed me on my forehead and said, “Honey, I don’t even see that thing.”  MMT
7)      Today, I’m in Iraq on my third tour of duty fighting for a cause I no longer believe in.  And I want to go home.  But ever since I caught my wife having an affair 6 months ago, I’m not sure I know where home is anymore.  MMT
8)      Today, exactly twenty years ago to the hour, I risked my life to save a woman who was drowning in the rapids of the Colorado River.  And that’s how I met my wife - the love of my life.  MMT
9)      Today, I was walking past a group of homeless men who live near my complex.  A cab pulled up next to the men and the driver opened up the rear door and pulled out two huge grocery bags full of food.  He set them down next to the group of men, got in his cab and drove off without saying a word.  MMT
10)      Today, as I watched my 75 year old grandmother and grandfather being silly with each other and laughing in the kitchen, I felt like I got a short glimpse of what true love feels like.  I hope I find it someday.  MMT

Saturday, July 23, 2011

questions that will free your mind.

These questions have no right or wrong answers.
Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.
  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
  2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
  3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
  4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
  5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
  6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
  7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
  8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
  9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
  10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
  11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
  12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
  13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
  14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
  15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
  16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
  17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?
  18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
  19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
  20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
  21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
  22. Why are you, you?
  23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
  24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
  25. What are you most grateful for?
  26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
  27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
  28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
  29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
  30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
  31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
  32. If not now, then when?
  33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
  34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
  35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
  36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
  37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
  38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
  39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
  40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
  41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
  42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
  43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
  44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
  45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
  46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
  47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
  48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
  49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
  50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section below

Monday, June 27, 2011

(THE MANAGER OF MAGNIFICENT HOTEL) THE REWARD OF A GOOD DEED.

One stormy night many years ago, an elderly man and his wife entered the lobby of a small hotel in Philadelphia. Trying to get out of the rain, the couple approached the front desk hoping to get some shelter for the night.
“Could you possibly give us a room here?” the husband asked. The clerk, a friendly man with a winning smile, looked at the couple and explained that there were three conventions in town. “All of our rooms are taken,” the clerk said. “But I can’t send a nice couple like you out into the rain at one o’clock in the night. Would you perhaps be willing to sleep in my room? It’s not exactly a suite, but it will be good enough to make you folks comfortable for the night.” When the couple declined, the young man pressed on. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll make out just fine,” he told them. So the couple agreed.
As he paid his bill the morning, the elderly man said to the clerk , “You are the kind of manager who should be the boss of the best hotel in the United States. May be someday I will build one for you.” The clerk looked at them and smiled. The three of them had a good laugh. As they drove away, the elderly couple agreed that the helpful clerk was indeed exceptional, as finding people who are both friendly and helpful isn’t easy.
Two years passed. The clerk had almost forgotten the incident when he received a letter from the old man. It recalled that stormy night and enclosed a round trip ticket to New York, asking the young man to pay them a visit.
The old man met him in New York and led him to the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street. He then pointed to a great new building there, a pale reddish stone, with torrets and watch towers thrusting up to the sky. “that,” said the old man, “is the hotel I have just built for you to manage” You must be joking”, the young man said, “I can assure you I am not” said the older man, a sly smile playing around his mouth.
The Older man’s name was William Waldorf Aster, and that magnificent structure was the original Waldorf- Astoria Hotel. The young clerk who became its first manager was George C. Boldt. This young clerk never foresaw the turn of events that would lead him to become the manager of one of the world’s most glamorous hotels.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

CREATION IN THREE DARKNESS

He creates you, in the wombs of your mothers, in stages, one after the other, in three stages of darkness. Chapter 39 The throngs( zumar), verse: 6
The fetus in the mother’s womb is a fragile thing. If it were not protected well, heat, cold, temperature variations, impacts or even the mother’s sudden movement might kill it or cause it irreparable damage. The three zones within the mother’s womb protect the fetus against all sorts of dangers. These are:
1.       The abdominal wall,
2.      The uterine wall
3.      The amniotic sac.
With the level of knowledge at the time, this information could not have been available. The fetus continues to develop in the dark of these three regions. The amniotic sac contains a fluid that fills the amnion to protect the embryo from desiccation (dehydration) and shock. This substance is a kind of cushion that absorbs shocks, balances exerted pressures, prevents the amniotic membrane from adhering to the embryo and enables the fetus to change position in the uterus. I f the fetus could not easily move in the said fluid, it would remain idle as a mass of flesh and would likely suffer injuries leading to various complications. Equal distribution of heat enables the fetus to be at a constant temperature: 31°C. We observe that our Creator has designed everything perfectly in its minutest detail, satisfying all the requirements of our body and protecting it against the dangers lurking in the outside world.
FROM ONE STAGE TO ANOTHER
It was also said that verse pointed to the fact that during the stages of creation we passed through three different phases of development. According to this view the three veils of darkness refer to:
1.       The fallopian tubes: Either of the paired oviducts that extend from ovary to uterus for conduction of the ovum in mammals. The sperm, having fertilized the egg, proceeds on along the fallopian tubes. The zygote during this journey begins to divide and reproduce itself.
2.      The uterine wall: the stage during which the embryo hangs on the wall.
3.      Amniotic sac: the sac fills with a fluid that surrounds the fetus. The next step of evolution call for a longer period of development.
A glance at the outward aspect presents a uniformity of sight. But were we to dwindle to the size of a tiny cell and explore the environment, we would see how different these chambers were. The first dark space is reminiscent of a monumental tunnel with respect to the cell. The second compartment is a dark forest where no light penetrates, and the third compartment reflects the dark depths of the sea.
There are three interconnected layers or three spaces through which the fetus passes. God knows whether the reference is to one or to the other. And there are three stages through which the embryo evolves. The three stages in question are:
1.       The pre- embryonic stage: this stage is called the “first trimester”. As the cells multiply, they get organized in three layers; this process takes two weeks.
2.      The embryonic stage: basic organs begin to emerge from the cell layers. This stage is referred to as the “second trimester” extending from the second week to the eighth week.
3.      The fetus stage: the face, hands and feet appear and the human figure is formed. This is the “ third trimester” that extends from the 8th week until birth.
Our shaping up takes places in stages, in each of which new evidences emerge. Data relative to embryology have been acquired only in the recent past. Neither before the descent of the Quran, nor in the course of the millennium succeeding it can you find such information available. The Quran indicated the composition of the semen, from a drop of which man was created. The Quran coined names that describe the development stages of the embryo; namely hanging to the wall of the uterus ( alaq), succeeded by the chewed lump of flesh (mudga). Thus the Quran uses terminology based on the positions of the fetus assumes. There was no source before the Quran which asserted that the muscles were made after the formation of bones.
To assert a scientific fact, a scientific background is a must. It is on such a foundation that other data can rest, which , in turn, calls for advanced microscopes and micro cameras. At the descent of the Quran, there was no such scientific background or such instruments. Nobody of sound mind can come forward and say that the information in the Quran was a result of fortunate coincidences.
4-We created the human being in the best design
5-Then turned him into the lowliest of the lowly.
Chapter 95: the fig ( ath-theen), verse: 4-5
35-were they created of nothing or were they themselves the creators?
Chapter 5: The Mount( AL thoor) verse: 35

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

relax yourself...a beautiful song by Dawood Wharnsby & Zain Bhikha

video
When you feel all alone in this world
And there's nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load
And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS
No matter what, inside or out
There's one thing of which there's no doubt
Allah knows
Allah knows
And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth
Every star in this whole universe
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you find that special someone
Feel your whole life has barely begun
You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone
Allah knows
Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes
Catch a glimpse of paradise
And you see your child take the first breath of life
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS

When you lose someone close to your heart
See your whole world fall apart
And you try to go on but it seems so hard
Allah knows
Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows
Allah knows

CHORUS (x2)


BRIDGE:
Every grain of sand,
In every desert land, He knows.
Every shade of palm,
Every closed hand, He knows.
Every sparkling tear,
On every eyelash, He knows.
Every thought I have,
And every word I share, He knows.
Allah knows

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

FRIENDSHIP QUOTES...

  • if all my friends were to jump off a bridge, i wouldn't jump with them... i'd be at the bottom to catch them..
  • my heart is like an open book. it depends on how you read me. dont judge me by my cover. look in
         and discover...i will be your true friend forever...
  • To hear what is unpsoken, to see what is invisible, to feel without even touching...is the miracle called friendship.
  • Friendship is like medicine, both are good for our health..they care us when we need, but the difference is that..friendship has no expirey date!
  • friendship doesnt occurs with special people. people become special after becoming friends....
  • walking alone is not difficult..but when we have walked a mile with someone then coming back alone...that is more difficult
  • Friends are like stars. you do not always see them but you know they are always there..
  • dont only be close with someone who makes you happy, be close with someone who can't be happy without you, it makes a lot of difference in life..
  • sometimes in life we think we dont need anyone. but sometimes we dont have anyone when we need...so dont let your best buddies & beloved ones go ever..
  • friendship is like a tree ...it is not measured on how tall it could be. But is on how deep the roots have grown..
  • A line said by a friend to his friend after both got busy in their lives and dint contact each other.."missed your smile a lot but i missed my own smile more"...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

keeping things to yourself was such and easy "game" to play........

Keeping Things To Yourself Was Such an Easy 'Game' To Play. Will You Still 'Win' If the Rules Change?
When I was younger , I used to keep things to myself. My feelings, my thoughts, my ideas. It was not because I don't share, but because I really don't have anyone to share with. Friends weren't many and family was in chaos. In the end, I had no choice but to hide away my fear, feelings, emotions deep within me.

It was easy, I got used to it and I started to distance myself away from
the rest of my initial friends as I thought that no one knows me better than myself.
Soon I went into a 'depression' state. Well , not like I know I was into one. School sucks. Friends were thought to be 'fake', couldn't be bothered about what is happening in the family and the one place I ever love being was the dark still atmosphere of my room.
Well, to cut things short and save everyone from having to go through my once 'lifeless' life, through age, I got over it. It was my mind that put me at such a depressing state and it was my mind itself that made me realize what consequences I would be laid upon if I continue living on life like this. It wasn't easy at first . Nothing was. However, with time and persistence, I was able to 'move out' and 'move on'.

I wouldn't say I have many friends at current but there are a few now I could turn to. No matter what happen, there will always be feelings and emotions. Instead of bottling up like I used to, I had found alternatives to bring it out.My experience thought me the importance of expressing myself and how necessary it was to share( by XYZ...)

( a ) On Why ! 

Why Do We Have Feelings and Emotions
Scientifically speaking, we feel and have what we call emotions are an emergent state from our biological brains and thus it does not exist physically or does it exist outside of our brain. Since birth, we weren't thought on how each feelings and emotions were like nor we were thought on what kind of feelings we should 'portray' based on situations. In the end, as a living thing, we were able to determine for ourselves and feel what it was like to feel. I could say to feel and have emotions are a must have factor to be considered a breathable living thing. To the extend of how we feel and emote are the essentials that sets us differently apart from others.

( b ) On What ! 

What Made Us Feel The Way We Felt About Certain Things?

During our life time, each of us experiences millions of emotional reactions either consciously or unconsciously. Simply put ,based on our years of experiencing , we have evolved our emotions and feelings as a way of helping us to rapidly reorganize and prepare ourself from any potential 'danger' or 'harm' the world might throw at us.Perception, thought , imagery, and memory, are important causes of emotions. Once emotions is activated, emotion and cognition influence each other. How people feel affects what they perceive, think, and do, and vice versa.

( c ) On How ! 

How Do We Tend to React Based On Our Feelings and Emotions?

It is based on feelings, how our emotion reacts from what we feel and the consciousness of our mind that determines how we react when situation arises. Take for example the feeling of fear. When you hear a certain strange noise in the night all alone, the feeling starts to kick in. Immediately you stayed alert of certain danger. Past emotional memories reminded you of how to deal with similar situation and your consciousness helps you to take appropriate and proper action.
. Learn to Express Yourself Effectively and Benefit From It 
Feelings are our emotions. There are 'sensations' that we feel deep down inside our heart as a result of what we experienced to how we think and how we respond. It is a medium to communicate with our inner self as well as a 'language' to others. Every one of us has our own trait to how we express our feelings. We often times find it easier to convey positive feelings than negative ones. However, as difficult as it gets, we can never cease to agree that so often when complicated feelings are expressed, the depth of our personality comes out and we tend to let go of the feelings much easier.
Communications and expressing is a way to a better self-improve and this simple secret is a successful ingredient to getting along with people you care and loved. The worst it gets is when one tends to think that bottling up your thoughts and feelings is always the best way to 'protect' ourselves from getting hurt more. Do you know then that blocking them off can actually really open the 'wound' up more as it has indirectly become a self prepared weapon that enables cruel feelings to linger in the heart? Silence can sometimes be golden but it can also be misinterpreted.

Why are feelings often so hard to express?

- Even before we could express, we tend to sometimes have a pre-conceive thought that we may end up hurting others by saying something that just didn't comes out the way it should

- Perhaps they are afraid that their feelings would jeopardize the relationship that they are sharing

- They may even be afraid of what others will think after that.

- Or possibly the mere thought of sharing their true emotions and having to open up is 'scary' enough to stop them from expressing it out

So how do you express your feelings?

Such fears to express can actually be conquered. Struggling is the first step to realizing the needs to change and to change is to improve. No one can judge better than ourselves to how we
personally feel therefore that is why sometimes, it makes it difficult to find the right word to describe what we actually feel.

1. Learn to speak your heart so it does not hurt those you care and loved

2. Be specific to what you have to say. Analyze and find the right word that says your feeling most. General term such as 'upset' or 'sad' may actually have the other party ending up confused or puzzled.

3. Start off by not declaring or blaming others of your feelings. Instead of pointing fingers, start expressing by turning it into a form of 'sharing'. Stop yourself from having to something like 'It is your entire fault' or 'I am angry because of you' as such statement would agitate them in return. Don't accuse as it would have the other party swing into a defensive mode.

4. Stay mature and respect the others person point of view. Sometimes, we may find the other party point of view unreasonable but whatever it could be, you don't have to oppose their opinion even it differs from your own. Act like a grownup and respect others viewpoints.

5. Don't fear other people's
judgment. If all you ever did was to think of others, you will never leave space to think for your own. Do not fear of what others have to think in the end as your imagination tends to create a far worse scenario than the actual state. To overcome your fear, try 'asking' or help instead of 'forcing' or 'demanding' them into helping you. Start of by making them feel as thou as their help is needed and this would invoke their desire to help. Sentence such as "I am having a tough time and I am wonder if you could help me" would provoke them into thinking that their presence is important.

6. When you are upset over something, write it down. Vent your feelings and what you have to say through writings. Sleep over it and by the time you know it, you'll find that viewpoints to the matter have changed.

In fact, putting down your thoughts and feelings down in writings would actually be more affective. In writings, you'll have whatever you want to say uninterrupted and your initial chain of thoughts will not be shifted. A well written message sometimes conveys more than having it put up verbally.

7. Speak it out. Don't ever deny your feelings be it good or bad. It is part of human experience to get a taste of every sensation in life. Share it with others. It won't make you any less of a human if you do. You may not know when someday, others may even open up to you too.
Danger Of Not Being Able to Express Yourself 
People will start avoiding you .This is really not how you want people to react to you but you see, life has always been a sort of a vicious 'chain-reaction'. If you do not express yourself due to the fact that you fear people, people in return will 'fear' you too. People will see through your aloofness and worst come to worst, conjure sorts of 'negative ideas' to why you are acting this way. Your 'in direct' wish would be 'granted' and in the end you will be force to wonder why that no one likes you.


You will have hard time getting along with people. People will feel as thou you are unapproachable. When you can't open to people, they won't feel comfortable 'opening' up to you either. This would shattered your current relationship as you bottled everything up inside.



It will be hard to seek help in times of needing one As the tension builds up, it will be hard for you to find help in times of trouble. There will come a time where you would need 'guidance' but there won't be much to seek thus you will respond to it by' hiding' more of your troubles. You will grow angry and resentful as you will feel isolated and distanced from the world.


Isolation As you build walls around your emotions and feelings, people will impulsively leave you alone. It may be what you want at first but time will prove to you that this is not the kind of life you would want to spend as long as you live. Life will be empty and meaningless. Life is all about relationship and it is all about having that someone to care for you and you caring them back. So no matter to whom you would want to express to, it could be your family members, friends, God, co-workers, pets, or even yourself, you will be sure that expressing yourself would bring to you a greater benefit

Friday, April 22, 2011

CRAYON WISDOM

We could learn a lot from crayons...Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, and some have weird names, but they all have to live in the same box."
Crayon Wisdom: #1 
Although we may fear the responsibility of taking responsibility, one fact remains. Other crayons can't be responsible for your color.

  1. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF IS NORMAL ADULT CRAYON BEHAVIOR
  2. NOT ALL CRAYONS ARE GOING TO LIKE YOU
    Some colors clash, but they can still be in the same box, and be a part of the same picture.
  3. YOU CAN'T MOVE FORWARD UNTIL YOU ACCEPT YOUR COLOR AS IS
    You may wish you were magenta or pastel blue. You may even try to make yourself one of those colors. The reality is, if you're orange, you're orange. You can only color orange.
  4. WORRY DOES NOT KEEP YOU, OR YOUR LOVED CRAYONS, SAFE
    As much as we may dislike, or fear it, all crayons leave their color behind only when outside the safety of the box.
  5. WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS WHAT YOU SEE
    If you hold depressing thoughts or beliefs, you will color the world gray. If you believe you must fight for everything, you may color everyone else red. But, every crayon wants to be seen as their own color.
Crayon Wisdom: #2 
  1. CHAOTIC CRAYON MIND = CHAOTIC LIFE
    If you always want the crayons in the box to be in a different order, you can stir the box. However, that's not what crayons are for.
  2. SUBSTITUTE CHALLENGE FOR BOX DRAMA
    Perhaps the biggest challenge in life is to be what you are. Mixing it up with the other crayons is not about being the central crayon. Its about expressing your color among all the others.
  3. THINK ABOUT RELAXING INTO YOUR COLOR, BECOMING COMFORTABLE IN YOUR WRAPPER
    If your crayon wrapper says yellow, and you're trying to be green, you will not be comfortable in your own wrapper.
  4. THE WORLD NEEDS A COLOR LIKE YOU
    The picture needs your color. In fact, it needs your specific shade of that color. No other crayon can color for you.
  5. EMOTIONAL COLORING IS YOUR FRIEND
    You may feel a different color than you are. A brown crayon may feel blue (sad). A blue crayon may feel red (passionate). This feeling information is a universal crayon language. All crayons can feel the other colors in the same way
.CRAYON WISDOM#3
  1. ALL THE WISDOM YOU NEED IS WITHIN YOU
    You have the wisdom of red because you are red, or the wisdom of black because you are black. No one else can teach you to be your shade of red or black, or whatever color you are.
  2. EAT WELL, SLEEP WELL, COLOR A LOT
    You can't expect to be mentally and emotionally strong without taking care of the basics. Eat some green, stop watching those color-ful cartoons in bed, push yourself out of the box to get to work.
  3. YOU WILL COLOR WHAT YOU FOCUS ON
    All crayons can imagine and focus on other colors, and on spaces they'd like to fill in. Focus on what's important to crayons, and to your color, to "do" the
    picture of health.
  4. CHECK IT OUT
    If you think another crayon has insulted or ignored you, check it out! Ask them. This will eliminate a whole day of mental stewing. But remember, though all crayons know the language of feelings, not all speak it well. If you check something out, there's no guarantee the other crayon will know how to respond.
  5. FEELING COLORS SAY WHAT THE INTELLECT CAN'T
    The color of feelings can communicate what logic can't. To share feelings effectively, don't scribble all over someone else's color, or blanch instead of letting your color-feeling out.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS.....

'Emotional Intelligence' is a neat metaphor that borrows from the notion of IQ. It implies that some people are better at handling emotions than others. It also hints that you might be able to increase your EQ. Practically, it offers a useful set of guidelines for doing just this.

SELF-AWARENESS
Being emotionally self-aware means knowing how you feel in "real time." Self-knowledge is the first step in being able to handle emotions. If you can see them and name them, then you at least then have a chance to do something about them.
EMOTIONAL LITERACYEmotional literacy means being able to label emotions precisely. This includes the emotions of others and especially yourself. It also means being able to talk about emotions without getting overly emotional or (as happens with many people) denying them.
Emotional literacy is not using 'I feel...' statements to offer opinions, ideas, etc. Thus 'I feel that is a good idea' is not emotional literacy, whist 'I feel angry' is.

EMPATHY & COMPASSION
Empathy is the ability to feel and understand the emotions of others. If you can empathize, you can engender trust, as people desperately want to be understood at the emotional level. All great carers and nurturers major in empathy and compassionIt also means appreciating and accepting differences between people, accepting that we have different priorities and capabilities around emotion.

BALANCE
The ability to balance emotion and reason in making decisions leads to good decisions. Emotion should not be abandoned, lest cold and callous decisions are made. Nor should logic be abandoned unless you want a wishy-washy outcome.

RESPONSIBILITY
Emotional Intelligence means taking primary responsibility for your own emotions and happiness. You cannot say that others "made" you feel the way you feel. Although they may be instrumental, the responsibility is yours, just as if you kill someone, there is no argument that says that someone else made you do it.

Monday, April 4, 2011

ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when emptiness and despair take hold and won't go away, it may be depression. More than just the temporary "blues," the lows of depression make it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Hobbies and friends don’t interest you like they used to; you’re exhausted all the time; and just getting through the day can be overwhelming. When you’re depressed, things may feel hopeless, but with help and support you can get better. But first, you need to understand depression. Learning about depression—including its signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment—is the first step to overcoming the problem.

What is depression?

We all go through ups and downs in our mood. Sadness is a normal reaction to life’s struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Many people use the word “depression” to explain these kinds of feelings, but depression is much more than just sadness.
Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—instead, they feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic.
Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief.

Are you depressed?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.
  • you can’t sleep or you sleep too much
  • you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
  • you feel hopeless and helpless
  • you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
  • you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
  • you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual
  • you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case)

    Signs and symptoms of depression

    Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It’s important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they’ve lasted—the more likely it is that you’re dealing with depression. When these symptoms are overwhelming and disabling, that's when it's time to seek help.

    Common signs and symptoms of depression

    • Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
    • Loss of interest in daily activities.  No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
    • Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
    • Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
    • Irritability or restlessness. Feeling agitated, restless, or on edge. Your tolerance level is low; everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
    • Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
    • Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
    • Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
    • Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

      Depression and suicide

      Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain. Thoughts of death or suicide are a serious symptom of depression, so take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide: it's a cry for help.

      Warning signs of suicide include:

      • Talking about killing or harming one’s self
      • Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness or being trapped
      • An unusual preoccupation with death or dying
      • Acting recklessly, as if they have a death wish (e.g. speeding through red lights)
      • Calling or visiting people to say goodbye
      • Getting affairs in order (giving away prized possessions, tying up loose ends)
      • Saying things like “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I want out.”
      • A sudden switch from being extremely depressed to acting calm and happy. If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, express your concern and seek professional help immediately. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life.

        If You Are Feeling Suicidal...

        When you’re feeling extremely depressed or suicidal, problems don’t seem temporary—they seem overwhelming and permanent. But with time, you will feel better, especially if you reach out for help. If you are feeling suicidal, know that there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time, so please reach out for help!

      Depression causes and risk factors

      Some illnesses have a specific medical cause, making treatment straightforward. If you have diabetes, you take insulin. If you have appendicitis, you have surgery. But depression is more complicated. Depression is not just the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and is not simply cured with medication. Experts believe that depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. In other words, your lifestyle choices, relationships, and coping skills matter just as much—if not more so—than genetics. However, certain risk factors make you more vulnerable to depression.

      Causes and risk factors for depression

      • Loneliness
      • Lack of social support
      • Recent stressful life experiences
      • Family history of depression
      • Marital or relationship problems
      • Financial strain
      • Early childhood trauma or abuse
      • Alcohol or drug abuse
      • Unemployment or underemployment
      • Health problems or chronic pain

      The cause of your depression helps determine the treatment

      Understanding the underlying cause of your depression may help you overcome the problem. For example, if you are depressed because of a dead end job, the best treatment might be finding a more satisfying career, not taking an antidepressant. If you are new to an area and feeling lonely and sad, finding new friends at work or through a hobby will probably give you more of a mood boost than going to therapy. In such cases, the depression is remedied by changing the situation.

      The road to depression recovery

      Just as the symptoms and causes of depression are different in different people, so are the ways to feel better. What works for one person might not work for another, and no one treatment is appropriate in all cases. If you recognize the signs of depression in yourself or a loved one, take some time to explore the many treatment options. In most cases, the best approach involves a combination of social support, lifestyle changes, emotional skills building, and professional help.

      Ask for help and support

      Ask for help and supportIf even the thought of tackling your depression seems overwhelming, don’t panic. Feeling helpless and hopeless is a symptom of depression—not the reality of your situation. It does not mean that you’re weak or you can’t change! The key to depression recovery is to start small and ask for help. Having a strong support system in place will speed your recovery. Isolation fuels depression, so reach out to others, even when you feel like being alone. Let your family and friends know what you’re going through and how they can support you.

      Make healthy lifestyle changes

      Lifestyle changes are not always easy to make, but they can have a big impact on depression. Lifestyle changes that can be very effective include:
      • Cultivating supportive relationships
      • Getting regular exercise and sleep
      • Eating healthfully to naturally boost mood
      • Managing stress
      • Practicing relaxation techniques
      • Challenging negative thought patterns

        Build emotional skills

        Many people lack the skills needed to manage stress and balance emotions. Building emotional skills can give you the ability to cope and bounce back from adversity, trauma, and loss. In other words, learning how to recognize and express your emotions can make you more resilient.

        Seek professional help

        If support from family and friends, positive lifestyle changes, and emotional skills building aren’t enough, seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective treatments for depression, including therapy, medication, and alternative treatments. Learning about your options will help you decide what measures are most likely to work best for your particular situation and needs.
        Effective treatment for depression often includes some form of therapy. Therapy gives you tools to treat depression from a variety of angles. Also, what you learn in therapy gives you skills and insight to prevent depression from coming back.
        Some types of therapy teach you practical techniques on how to reframe negative thinking and employ behavioral skills in combating depression. Therapy can also help you work through the root of your depression, helping you understand why you feel a certain way, what your triggers are for depression, and what you can do to stay healthy.